


my religion is you

by donghyuckies



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Blowjobs, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kinda?, M/M, Praise Kink, Religion Kink, Too much feelings, markhyuck, uhm hi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-05 20:41:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19048015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donghyuckies/pseuds/donghyuckies
Summary: when i'm down on my knees, you're how i pray.you're my religion.





	my religion is you

**Author's Note:**

> sorry i ended up listening lana del rey's songs way too much 
> 
> and yeah, english is not my first language.

I woke up and felt his calm, rhythmic breathing on my neck. He is asleep and his hair all messed up. His arms hug me tightly and I feel so warm.

My heart is filled with joy at seeing his pretty face so close to mine, I stared at his lips, they were a little bruised from the night before and I smiled as I remembered how our night had been. Wild and intense- like always was.

I heard his grunts when the sunlight came into our room and it was all clear, I chuckled softly before going to his forehead and kissing gently. I tried to show all my devotion for him in all these little things.

Mark woke up, but he kept his eyes closed and gave a big smile. It was one of those smiles that made me smile together and soothe my soul even in the most tense situations.

"There's no better way to wake up." Mark said in his husky, newly awakened voice.

And then he finally opened his eyes, those deep eyes that I love so much, revealing all the sincerity he had, staring at me with such a beautiful glow that is to make any star jealous. Looking at them I see how dark and honest they are. His large lashes and the depth of his gaze seemed far more precious than any jewelry.

I didn't think straight when I put our lips together. Mark didn't look surprised and tightened his grip.

"I love you so much, Hyuck." That was what Mark whispered, his voice barely audible. He seemed to feel pain.

Then came the sobs.

Tears appeared and ran down his cheeks and a terrible despair overwhelmed me.

The truth is that I love all of his faces, but the sad Mark was the only one I didn't like to see.

Seeing tears, hearing the crying and feeling his tremble in our embrace made me want to lose all the senses.

His sadness was what I feared most in the world.

"I love you too, my life." I hurry to say as I caress his wet cheeks. "And you can be sure that this will never change. Don't be sad, my love. I can't bear to see you sad. You're all I got Mark Lee." I whispered to his lips.

I spoke the truth.

I kissed his face all over and felt the salty taste his tears had.

I remembered why he was like that and I sighed guiltily.

The day before, Mark and I hung out with my friends. It wasn't something I wanted to happen, but they were very insistent and wanted more than anything to meet my boyfriend.

And I didn't understand why.

Everyone had the habit of saying that it would be better if I turned away from him, so the reception wasn't the best. And my man was very sensitive, he soon realized the antipathy they felt for him.

And it was true that my relationship with the world I knew had changed since I got involved with Mark, but he wasn't wrong - he had changed my life for the better.

They were the boring ones.

No one accepted our relationship. Because nobody accepted the fact that I love someone of the same sex as me. And I couldn't care less for what these people thought.

"What if they hate me too, Hyuck?"

He said that because my parents hate me and consequently hate Mark.

But that was long before, I have a past of which I am not proud to remember.

A past where I was drugged until I forgot what planet I was on, robbed to get money and had sex with strangers without fear of waking dead the next day, because I didn't care about death, I thought it was cooler to still clog me with heroin and cocaine knowing the risk I had of having an overdose.

I don't think any parents wanted a self-destructive time bomb as their son.

They used to be loving and fought for a long time for me to get better. I attended a lot of psychologists, support centers and various rehabilitation clinics, but I was always expelled for having sex with a nurse or being very violent. Or it was simply given as a lost case.

My family's hatred only came when my younger brother and I got into a very violent fight after he saw me in bed with his fiancee just days before their wedding.

I was kicked out of the house the same day and the only thing I took with me was the hard look my brother gave me with tears streaming down his face mixed with the dry blood of the punches I had given.

I felt terribly pleased at that moment and realized that I did what I did because I envied my brother.

I envied him and the fact that he was younger than me and already about to marry someone he thought was the love of his life.

I ruined his marriage because I wanted to love someone like he did.

But I was empty.

I was empty... until that day.

And I thought I'd never love until Mark Lee sat next to me at a nightclub bar and offered me his cigarette.

From the first moment I knew that something had changed.

For him it was never about money or drugs.

Or parties and nightclubs.

For Mark there was only love.

He wasn't like the others. His eyes were gentle. He looked like a damn nerd trying to fit into a place that didn't belong to him and even that was cute.

My eyes flashed and my temperature warmed up the first time I looked directly at him.

Finding him was like finding God.

Some time later I discovered that he was a foreigner and didn't even like marijuana, he only offered it to me because he hated smoking it. I laughed at his innocence and his fluffy canadian accent. He said that I looked better smiling than with the bitter frown.

And I blushed.

I didn't even know I could do that.

We stared at each other for long minutes and it was as if we were trying to read each other's souls.

I moaned and my breath became out of breath even before our lips joined in a kiss.

It happened very fast, a strange tension burned between us.

Even if it was not a few kisses and exchanged phones, that night was different and much more exciting than anything I had ever experienced before.

Of course we meet again in a few days and with a short time we fall madly and hopelessly in love. I don't know exactly at what moment, maybe we were fallen from love from the beginning.

I haven't looked for drugs since I started dating Mark. All the need that I felt disappeared gradually and was replaced by the love I felt for this man. It seems unreal, I don't even understand how it happened, but it was just that.

It was difficult, it took time and I had my abstinence, but I never wanted to use it again.

Because I couldn't ruin what we had as I did with everything else.

Today, I don't even remember what it felt like.

The only sensation I was glad to feel was what Mark could give me.

"Mark, I don't give a shit. They always hated me." I laughed at the frightened face he made. "I only need you."

My boyfriend was silent.

I think he finally understood.

Mark smiled and kissed me.

He brought his well-drawn lips close together and I felt the perfect texture they had. His hand came to the back of my neck and grabbed the strands of hair there, I gasped at his brutality in the act. Our mouths molded into each other perfectly. Tongues leaned back and played with each other slowly.

More than a kiss, I felt everything Mark wanted.

He wanted to say that he loves me, to continue to love me and that he wanted me.

And I wanted him too.

Fuck, I want him more than anything.

I wanted more than I already had.

I never get tired to have those lips on mine or to have those possessive hands on my waist and neck.

I found my God in those arms, in his simple affection and cheerful smile.

My reason, my motivation to live was all there, kissing me as if it was the only thing he needed to do.

And maybe it was.

All Mark needed to do was love me.

Life was turbulent, my mind totally chaotic and troublesome, but calmness welcomed me when I was with my love.

As his kisses came down to my neck, I felt that everything was fine now.

It was all clear, no more cloudy days, even when the storms came.

For me it was no longer necessary to survive just living all that love. Our decisions have already been made and we would be together regardless of what happened.

Whatever had to be, it would be.

And honestly, I cared nothing but Mark Lee.

I would leave everything behind, without thinking twice, if need be.

Because Mark Lee was my everything.

I couldn't even imagine even for a second what it was like to be away from him.

Because when I'm on my knees, it's how I pray.

It's like he's my belief.

My greatest doctrine, my only faith.

I depended on Mark Lee.

I depended on his sleepy face early in the morning, depended on his affection and good morning kisses, depended on his lively smile, depended on his husky voice telling me to stay well, depended on his warm embrace, depended on his sweet pancakes for eating at the end of a busy afternoon, even though it tasted terribly.

If there was still a little bit of self-love in me it was because Mark loved me too.

And I knew it was true because even now I felt all the truth behind his touches.

His lips trailed down my skin and crawled slowly, causing me a shiver that died in long sighs continuously.

It was visible the care Mark had as he approached the most sensitive parts of my body, his delicacy was so kind. It made me want to cry. I was so excited in that moment.

And what I wanted most was to try to reciprocate everything I felt.

"Mark ..." I called in a squeaky voice. "I want to touch you." I whispered before putting myself on top of him.

He didn't say anything, but his smile was still there on his lips.

And it wasn't a smirk, it was a passionate smile.

It had been a time when our sex was not just sex.

It was love or much more than that.

I think it was devotion.

I held his face with both my hands and kissed him.

He returned the kiss willingly.

There was no hurry, the kiss was slow, delicate.

And intense.

It was always so intense.

I heard his sighs as I lowered my lips to his neck and devoted long kisses to that sensitive part. I sucked his skin hard and bit down, leaving a trail of purplish, reddish marks.

I went down the trail of kisses to his collarbone, lingering long there, marking his white skin until I dragged the tip of my tongue toward Mark's left nipple and sucked it.

He moaned low and it was like music to my ears.

I laughed softly and my warm breath touched his chest, making him shiver.

I could feel his dick growing even more hard in mine and I gasped.

I began to move our erections in each other, rubbing them back and forth as my sucking on his nipple increased the pace.

I lowered my lips to his abdomen and let my teeth bite through that beautiful piece of his body. He was all beautiful.

Feeling Mark like that was more rewarding than anything else in the world.

When my kisses reached his pelvis, I saw that he even held his breath.

He was anxious after all.

I was happy for that.

I went up to his thighs and kissed the inside of them, seeing the positive reaction his body had.

I bit his skin and Mark arched his back.

"It feels so good, baby." He confessed and I chuckled.

I gripped his testicles and saw that he gasped automatically, as if he was holding his breath for all this time.

Then I looked at him and found his eyes feverish with desire.

There was something that made his beautiful eyes even more attractive in times like these when he seemed to crave more than he could speak.

It was impossible to break eye contact when that happened.

I held his erection and slowly masturbated it as I let my mouth near the head of his cock.

I stretched out my tongue and licked the length of his dick and listened to his sighs grow into groans.

I put a good portion of his cock in my mouth and sucked it hard.

He looked ethereal.

I felt his taste invade my palate and his veins throbbed in my tongue, I started my movements and his penis seemed to grow even more in my mouth.

"What I am?" He asked, his tone sounding more rude now.

I shivered.

"You are my God."

He moaned.

"Say it again."

"My God, you are my God, my everything." 

I was desperate. He grabbed my hair, my eyes started tearing with so much pleasure just to see him. I wanted to be noticed. I wanted to be a good boy to him.

"Then suck me good. Prove your devotion."

My whole body felt that and I whined.

So I went back to sucking his cock like this was the greatest gift I could ever get in life, his hand was firmly in the middle of my hair. He looked possessive, superior looking at me.

I was on my knees and he joked about how I prayed with dedication.

I never avoided those eyes, no matter how exposed I felt, I continued to suck him hard.

The shame burned in ways I couldn't explain. He treated me in a way that encouraged me to do whatever he wanted. I was totally submissive.

I lowered my hand to my own erection and I began to stimulate myself with movements in the same rhythm as I swallowed his precum with my mouth.

"You're so fucking beautiful." He complimented me and I blushed.  
Every time he complimented me I felt closer to my orgasm because I felt so good when he said those things to me.

Seeing him breathless, his hard erection and his eyes filled with lust and knowing that it was me that caused all of this made me feel in the clouds. It lifted my self-esteem in a way that even I couldn't understand. I was glad that I could make him feel such a pleasure.

As I accelerated my movements, Mark grabbed my hair desperately and let him dictate the rhythm he wanted. He repeated my name countless times in that groggy, lost tone.

I knew that my jaw was sore, he invested in my mouth that even reached the throat, but I didn't feel like stopping him in any moment, somehow I was as horny as him.

I masturbated quickly, feeling my head go dizzy as I stood on the verge of an orgasm. No matter how many times I did that, I always felt as numb as if it were the first time.

I think Mark shared the same feeling because he was always so intense.

I heard him grunt and I knew it was a warning.

His excitement exploded in my mouth in long jets and I swallowed everything the way I got.

I looked into his eyes and saw him smile.

He caressed my hair that seconds ago were being pulled hard and I almost purred into his hand as he lowered the affection to my cheeks.

His hands found my cock and it didn't take much for me to cum especially when he praised me for my good work.

I went to his lips and I left a long kiss there.

He asked me to get up and hugged me around the waist.

I looked into his glowing eyes.

And all of a sudden, all I wanted to do was shout, "Hallelujah, I need your love."

Because Mark Lee is my religion.

He was how I'm living.

 


End file.
